


Shared Custody

by TheHufflepuffTARDIS



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: ? - Freeform, Adoption, Alternate Universe - High School, Chatting & Messaging, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Jealous TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Dream SMP Ensemble, Oneshot, Only Briefly - Freeform, Platonic Relationships, Snowchester on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-24 02:07:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30065025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHufflepuffTARDIS/pseuds/TheHufflepuffTARDIS
Summary: Tubbo and Ranboo are partnered together for the age-old classic assignment of taking care of a fake baby.
Relationships: Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo
Comments: 3
Kudos: 193





	Shared Custody

**Author's Note:**

> uh,,,, yeah. I posted this idea on Tumblr and it seemed like people wanted to so,,,here it is!

“And for your next assignment, you will be caring for a baby for the next two weeks. Now, because we don’t have enough, a few of you will be partnered up...”

Tubbo honestly thought that this was a thing only in movies and TV shows. Caring for a fake robot baby? Not pog. Not pog at all. He could only imagine what Tommy would say if he was in this class. 

“Tubbo, you’ll be paired with Ranboo.” 

‘Who was Ranboo again? Oh! Right! The tall kid.’ He was admittedly, kind of intimidating but he seemed nice if a little shy. He had transferred to the school about a month and a half ago.

“Hey, Ranboo!” Tubbo waved him over to where he sat, at the far end of the classroom. Ranboo was awkwardly holding their baby, clueless as to what he should be doing with it. 

“Uh...Hey Tubbo.” Ranboo sat at the desk next to Tubbo, his legs uncomfortably squished under it. 

“So...do you know what we’re supposed to be doing?” Tubbo had long since stopped paying attention during this class, it was basically a free period for him. 

“I don’t really know. All she said was that we were taking care of them for the next two weeks.”

“Let’s give our son a name first. Ideas?”

“I don’t know, I’m terrible at naming things. Jeffery? Maybe?”

“How about Michael?”

“I like that one.” Ranboo picked up the baby like some of the girls were doing and addressed it. “Hello, Michael.” Turning back to Tubbo he said “Yup. It fits.”

“Now that that is figured out, how are we going to do this?”

“How do you mean?”

“Well, we can’t really take care of him together all the time. So are we gonna have a shared custody kind of thing or…?”

“Are we divorced or something, Tubbo? “Said Ranboo with a small laugh.

“Yes.” Said Tubbo completely seriously, before the both of them broke into laughter. Once they calmed down, Tubbo handed Ranboo his phone, “Put in your phone number so we can contact each other outside of school.” Ranboo handed Tubbo his phone so he could do the same.

“You know, we’d have to have been married before getting divorced.”

“Are you telling me you forgot about the wedding?” Just then, Michael started crying, a tinny, mechanical cry that made Tubbo and Ranboo look at each other in dread. Tubbo’s first reaction to it was to put his index finger on his nose and say “not it”. 

Ranboo picked up the baby and held it, shaking it like other people were doing. He’d have to do some research later to figure out how to actually care for a baby. He had never been around one, being an only child and all. 

But Michael would not stop crying. “Here, Michael, why don’t you go to your other father for a bit?” Tubbo tried to refuse but eventually gave up. 

“Ranboo, look in the bag that came with it. Maybe it’s hungry or something? Babies like to eat, right?” The bag held a small plastic bottle and two cloth diapers. The bottle was one of those toy ones that when you tipped it over, the milk disappeared. He handed that to Tubbo. It seemed like that was what was needed as the crying was replaced with a weird drinking sound as it ‘drank’ from the bottle. The baby went quiet once again, just in time for the bell to ring for the next period. 

“Ranboo, rock-paper-scissors for who has to take care of him tonight?” Ranboo chose scissors and Tubbo picked paper. ”Best two out of three?”

“I don’t think we’ve got much time for that. Just take him for tonight. And give him to me first thing in the morning.” Ranboo picked up his backpack, glancing across the mostly empty room. 

“Wait! Ranboo! Do you think you could come over after school so we can talk about him and figure out what we’re doing? Cause I think you’re just as clueless as I am.”

“Probably. I don’t think my parents would mind.”

“Nice!”

Thankfully, Michael didn’t cry or make any noise for the next two class periods. When he started to cry during lunch, Tubbo immediately got up to find Ranboo. Once he did, the baby was pushed into his hands, “He’s your son too. Figure this one out.”

Ranboo sputtered in shock, “I said I’d take care of him tomorrow!”

“Well, I want you to watch him while I eat my lunch.” Tubbo sat across the table from him and began to eat. Ranboo was getting weird looks from nearby tables as Michael continued to cry. The shaking did nothing, he didn’t want the bottle either. “Tubbo,” Ranboo whined as he gave an evil smile at Ranboo’s situation. “Change our son’s diaper Ranboo. Change it.” 

It took him longer than he’d like to admit to change the diaper, the straps were weird and hard to connect. And he put it on backward the first time. But once he did so, he stopped crying and Ranboo let out a sigh of relief. At least it wasn’t one of those baby toys that would actually soil the diapers with water, he’d probably drop the class if it was. 

Tubbo left quickly enough once the lunch period was over that Ranboo didn’t get the chance to hand the baby back to him. At least it was just one more class before the end of the day. Tubbo had sent him his address, and he lived close enough between his house and the school that it wouldn’t be too hard to walk there after school instead of getting a ride or taking the bus. 

~~~~

At the end of the day, the two of them met up at the front doors of the school and walked to Tubbo’s house together. “Phil will be home but Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy all have after-school plans so it should be pretty quiet.” 

“Wait! You’re brothers with Tommy?”

“Sorta, I’ve been like, pseudo-adopted. My parents aren’t around much so I basically live here instead of being home alone.”

“Ahh...okay.”

“Anyways, we’re here.” The house was a nice size, bigger than most in the town, as small as it was. Tubbo’s room was not dirty but somewhat unkempt, some plant sat in the window sill in a small pot with bees painted on it. A desk against one wall had a computer and what looked like a gaming set. The walls were an...interesting bright green color and the carpet was soft and felt like something Ranboo could dig his toes into. 

The two of them talked for a while, using Tubbo’s computer for some research while Ranboo took notes. They had decided that they would switch off who was caring for Michael every day. So Ranboo would have Michael tomorrow. As he was packing his things up to leave, a knock came from the other side of Tubbo’s door. 

“Come in!” The door opened to reveal Philza, who was wearing a dark green sweatshirt and a pair of jeans. 

“Hey Tubbo, and guest. I just wanted to let you know I’m leaving to go pick up Tommy from the school.”

“Alright, Ranboo was just getting ready to leave anyways. Do you want to meet our son first?”

“Your what?”

“Our son Michael!” Piped up Ranboo, showing him the plastic baby in his arms. 

Phil practically deflated at the sight, “Thank god it's not a real kid. I don't think I could handle another Fundy situation.” Tubbo laughed and Ranboo was more confused than ever. 

~~~~

The next day went by pretty quickly, and Michael was handed off to Tubbo at the end of the day. At around dinnertime, Ranboo’s phone was blowing up with texts from Tubbo.

**Tubbo**

hey 

hey 

hey

hey

hey

**Ranboo**

yes tubbo?

**Tubbo**

My friedns are asking about the 

baby and want to meet you

**Ranboo**

Oh god

social interaction

**Tubbo**

Can i add you to the gc?

**Ranboo**

I guess

**Tubbo**

Pog! 

Ranboo’s phone suddenly got many more notifications from a new group chat titled, ‘ **1000% funnier** ’. 

_Tubee has added Ranboo to the group chat_

**Wilby sloot**

Hwo are you are what are your intentions wiht tubbo

**Ranboo**

Uh

Group project

**Tubee**

IS THAT ALL I AM TO YOU RANBOO? I THOUGHT WE WERE MORE THAN THAT >:(

**‘Not a furry’**

How dare you hurt tubbo’s feelinsg

**Ranboo**

Im sorry?

**Tubee**

You better be

**Fool**

I remember that project

I stole the baby and rever returned it

**Dreamy**

Wtf foolish?

**Fool**

I wanted a son

**LANGUAGE**

Thats

That not an excuse to steal school property

**Wilby sloot**

Kidnapper

**Ranboo**

Who the heck are you guys?

**BIGGEST MAN**

IM TUBBOS BEST FIREND

WHO ARE YOU?

Tubee 

He’s my husband!

**Ranboo**

Oh

Okay 

**Ert**

Who proposed?

_(Private messages)_

**Tubbo**

Flip a coin to see who proposed?

 **Ranboo**

Heads, me

Tails, you.

Its heads

_1000% funnier_

**Ranboo**

I did

**Tubee**

He did

We gto married for tax benifits

Michael is our adopted son

**Ert**

Isnt that marriage fraud

**Tubee**

THATS WHAYT MARRIAGE FRAUD IS!?

**Skep**

Bad 

can we do that

**LANGUAGE  
** O_o

**Skep**

Is that a yes

**Ranboo**

This is cool an all, and its nice to meet you guys

But i still dont know any of you

**Dreamy**

You will eventually

:)

**Ranboo**

Wow

You are terrifying

Dreamy

:)

**Twitch.tv**

:] 

**Ranboo**

You less so

**BIGGEST MAN**

YOURE THAT TALL BITCH RIGHT

RANBOOB

**Ranboo**

I guess so

_BIG MAN has changed Ranboo’s name to ‘ranboob’_

**ranboob**

Please no

**BIGGEST MAN**

HA BOOB

_Tubee has changed ranboob’s name to ‘husband :D’_

**Tubee**

Better :p

**husband :D**

Thank you tubbo

**Tubee**

:D

**husband :D**

:D

**BIGGEST MAN**

TUBBO STOP FLERTING

**Tubee**

But hes my husband >:(

**husband :D**

Im his husband 

**BIGGEST MAN**

I DIDNT GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO MARRY MY BEST FRIEND

**husband :D**

Can I marry him?

**BIGGEST MAN**

does he make you happy tubbo?

**Tubee**

Yes 

**BIGGEST MAN**

fine

**Tubee**

YES 

**husband :D**

Thnak you

Tubbo

How is our son

**Tubee**

Sleeping 

**‘Not a furry’**

Wiat

Wait

Wiat

If the michael is tubbo’s son

And wilbur ‘adopted’ (kidnapped) me

Does that mean hes my cousin

**Tubee**

YES

**husband :D**

Wait

You’re fundy?

Right?

**‘Not a furry’**

,,,yea

Y?

**husband :D**

No reason

 **BIGGEST MAN**   
TUBBO GET THAT STUPID FUCKING BABY TO SHIT UP

**Wilby sloot**

Shit up

**Dreamy**

Shit up

**Fireboy**

Shit up

**Gogy**

Shit up

**Puff**

Shit up 

**Tubee**

Shit up

AND DONT TALK ABOUT MICHAEL THAT WAY

**husband :D**

YEAH

SHIT UP

**Author's Note:**

> i wasnt quite sure how to end this, which seems common in many of my stories. if you've got ideas, share them!
> 
> go follow my tumblr if you haven't already   
> https://sublimeloverwobblercalzone.tumblr.com/  
> its mostly just mcyt shitposts and theories


End file.
